When it rains...

You ever have those moments where you just want to curl up in a ball and just completely break down? Me too. All the time. And that's when I'm NOT suffering from PMS. During those "wanna-break-down" moments, you ever think, "Man, I'm gonna look back at this someday and ponder on how strong this moment made me?" It's hard to, isn't it? But I find myself doing that more and more.

Daniel lost his job today... well, yesterday to be exact. It was a shit job but, it was a job. Now, I know I'm supposed to be supportive of him and not badger him while he's still reeling from the recent events, but the Type-A side of me wants to hit the ground running with a plan of action and a working budget already in place. Daniel is more of a "I'll-figure-it-out" kind of person, and that is where we tend to butt heads the most. I want something planned out, mapped out, drawn out. Trying to do that stuff stresses him out.

It's times like these that I realize how good a job my mom did with me and my brothers. I never glimpsed the reality of being a parent. I never saw how hard it is. Granted, the country was not falling apart at that time but, I know my parents struggled from time to time when we were young. I knew they struggled but, if what they were feeling was even half of what I am feeling right now, I never noticed it.

On top of all this, my period is coming soon. TMI... I know but here's the thing. Each month my period has been getting progressively worse. The cramps have turned into contractions and every month I am shocked when a screaming baby does not emerge from my pain. Last month I almost went to the emergency room because I had such a bad cramp I couldn't come out of the fetal position for over thirty minutes.

Things have got to get easier because they can't get too much harder.

Cross your fingers for me. Pray for me. Whatever you do, do that for me.

I just need to be patient, and patience has never been one of my strong points.

Dear Hormones... go to Hell!

So, lately I've been noticing my hormones. And by noticing, I mean HATING!!

I just cried to the reunion scene of Wife Swap: Husband Edition. A few days ago I cried to the ending of Coyote Ugly. Now, I am not a robot, I will admit that I do cry. Braveheart? Gets me every time. The look on my daughter's face when she is telling me that she loves me, without my having told her first? Forget about it. But not Wife Swap. Not Coyote Ugly.

And so, my letter...

Dear Hormones... go to HELL!!!